5/28/2006
I'm so sorry that i've disappointed you but i dun want to drag it further.In any case if you hadn't understood what i wrote in the previous time...let me repeat,i do not want to become friends with you anymore.I noe i'm cruel and selfish by sayin this sentence but i really cannot bring myself to become friends with you any longer. So...u can dun bother abt tokin to me even after u have cooled down or watever.I believe tt one day i will have to change my mindset but tt will only happen when maybe after i've gained maturity,being enlightened like what you've gone thru or have that person influential enough to make me do so.I'm just like the past AJ aka jun yang in the show where he said that,"
我的字典里没有道歉这两个字".He started to change only when he realize that he's gg to lose his loved ones.Although it's just a show,i tink it certainly describes me in reality.I dun care even if you tell it to xinyu,yiwen, liyi or anyone else and you may have your circle of friends supporting you and tink that you are right and i'm wrong ,den just be it.cuz i noe its my fault it the first place...i willing to admit but not apologize.
[*] starred at 2:51 AM
21st May
I paid my tutor the tution fees today.I tink I really need to go back to basic mathematics calculation.I cannot even compute simple stuffs as simple as 240/4 *3=180.I gave her $160 instead and made a fool out myself again.
22nd May
Sashimi took the train to school today. Still, I find her an eyesore. She doesn’t need to act because she’s like that in the first place
23nd May
Waited for Shawn to be dismissed before we-chewy,shawn,wee beng and me went all the way to Far East to buy Jie Yan’s b’dae prez. Told them to take bus no. 105 because I wanted to tap my card.Been very enthu in tappin in and out my ez link for the sake of the i-pod nano as advertised on the bus. Not that I want it very much…it just to try out the system and my luck. Strong opponents like chewy...haha. ok, back to main topic.Yup…so we went straight to the shop-Simple Toys which sells almost all kinds of models and figurines except wb’s favourite Gundam models. So the Darth Maul(sth which I’ve been wondering how to spell until I checked the receipt) model was sold out except the one left displayed outside.We were hesitating whether to get to get it for him before we decided to racky other places first. So we walked to Isetan there and looked for it…no doubt a wasted trip. So we went back to the same place and decided to purchase the $99.90 to be exact Darth Maul unleashed version. Anyway…it was up to the guys to decide. The only problem was that there wasn’t any box accompanying the toy for it was a loose one and diff to transport then. But we told the in charge to help us put into a sort of a discarded box. We placed order on it and made our payment first before coming back for it later for we decided that it was dangerous to transport it in the crowded street along Orchard. Funny thing was this.When Shawn was checking for flaws…he noticed that the model’s light saber was bent and so he asked the employee there. But he replied saying that maybe it was the design and Shawn was puzzled when he knew it was not, being a Star Wars fan. We knew the fact only when the in charge told us that it is natural because of the weight of the whole model itself (I was wondering if mr tay would noe this if he was there).So he told us to place it into hot water to make it expand and become straight. His face lited up only Shawn flashes his card.Shawn and Beng wanted to watch movie but we didn’t want to and so we went to Lido again to have our kfc as our dinner while Shawn and beng purchase the movie tix for themselves-izzen it abit weird to have 2 guys watching “cartoon” tgt? Four of us had the superstar meal-Zinger but too bad junyang wasn’t ard.So while they do their hw…we went tO collect the model and I carried it with caution.So…I was walking back and and forth along the same street and in and out of the two malls. Shopped for a while more before we had to go…chewy left a “Da Vinci Code” for wb to decode….only he didn’t realize which “brazil” she was referin to.
Was exhausted when I reached home abt 8pm…showered and forced myself to finish reading the binomial distribution(bdtbt) notes.I knew I couldn’t take it anymore at 10pm and went to take a short nap..noticed tt I mentioned a short one….even I was surprised that I could actually wake up and even continue to finish the tutorial till 2am.Perhaps I’m really scared of mr lokey.
I’m really surprised that young ppl actually bahave this way.Hate this.
24th May
I saw Mrs Tan Tiong Meng(mrs TTM) when she entered LT4 today. She was my pri 6 form teacher.I immediately recognized her for like me she hadn’t change a lot. Recalling…I tink me and jing ping aka jocelin now was sort of her slave and keeping the whiteboard marker for her…but I tink it was worth it because this wld mean that she trusted us.
Had interact meeting which I tot would end late but it was just a short debrief by the new pres of interact club before we can leave.i was really bo liao den to change up to 5 buses(53,22,156,43,83) just to tap my card. Ended up reaching home 1 hour later than I shld.
Today was my LAST tutorial lesson with Mr foo before Mrs Judy Tan comes back from her maternity leave. He sort of say it till like he can’t wait to get rid of our class since he have been neglecting his own class.My classmates tink tt I am or will be upset but actually I just feel neutral for he’s ultimately not the guy that I like…u all shld noe who.but I tink I will just miss him as much though I still will get to see him in sch
25th May
Mr Tay was abit cranky and not right these past few days. Ok..not that I’m the only one who noticed it…whole of royal family members noticed it too and we’ve been discussing abt it. Conclusions made were that he has been in the extreme positions. He can be very crappy and havin fun with you at one time and can be damn serious at the other time. Not as if he was as serious as today durin lessons time in the past. So..i guess it was me and Charlotte who was offended now.In addtion,we find that he was always trying to attract attention for no reasons…dat I can accept but the thing now is tt he’s always picking on me. Always suaning me and goes round the bush to shoot me back. Guess tt it’s his “PMS” acting outta control now…haha. Almost all of his students experienced the same thing as well. Well,I dun care if he’s reading this now for he mentioned before that he will not mention anything in sch.My frens had advise me to “dao” him…for they have tried it out themselves…it was successful…dao him a few weeks and he wud not bother u anymore. My strategy shall be this but it just seems to be tt I cannot help but argue back for what he have said.
On a lighter note now…today is the last episode of dream chaser aka 梦拼图.I wud comment that it wasn’t a very nice ending. And although similarly as last week’s episode…I cried when I saw jun yang aka AJ “crying”, it just wasn’t the same kind of emotion anymore. While I was studying for tml’s chem spa, i still got distracted and switched on the TV durin the last 15minutes of the repeat at 12.30pm.So it sort of took me a little more time to recap what I’ve juz memorized. Studied till 2.30am at the end.
Queen is staying overnight in school today to sort of help out with the editing.Cool.
26th May
Today is my last Chemistry SPA in school. Finally..i’m free…out of the SPA crutches. It hasn’t been a gd experience for most of the time when I was taking the exam. Today’s spa was similar to what we did during our normal practical sessions and so it was ok overall.
Queen was tired today after stayin up for almost the entire night.She was telling me tt her CNNY frens told her that Mr foo actually told one of his students that he knew tt he was a popular figure among the girls in the college and that he was known as the jun yang teacher.She also told me tt the J1s are actually crashing thermodynamics lecture just to look at him .Shouldn’t I be feel fortuned…oso dunno why I felt sad after nooe-ing this.
All J2s were made compulsory to stay back after sch today to attend the workshop..suppossedly to guide us in writing or drafting our own testimonial. I only manage to complete two and decided to hand up the third one next wed.
Today is Jie Yan’s birthday. Happy 19th birthday jie yan. I’ve been seeing him in school quite a few times but I did not dare to walk up to him and wish him a happy birthday. I’m a coward…I’ve not done what I promised myself to do in the morning.Shawn,beng and chewy have been “pestering” and encouraging me to go Jie Yan’s hse to celebrate his b’dae today…for they knew that if I choose to go…everything will be resolved.Shawn and Beng was waiting for me and chewy to finish writin our testimonials. On the bus trip to Shawn’s hse,again we argued abt issues on friendship.Nah…I was on the verge on crying again but I held back. I dun like to argue with my frens…just bcuz we have different views and opinions. First time stepped into Shawn’s hse…the first thing I saw was the batteries….dun need to be afraid even if there’s a short circuit in the hse.His dad was at home. I went to his room to have my hands on the light saber which was given to him on his bdday.Nothing really fascinating abt it. Noticed that his bedsheet was also forever fren bear pic but mine is nicer…lolx. Next…we all proceeded to the mini but full of stuffs kitchen to prepare the things like-watermelon juice plus honey plus lime.Chewy was cutting the watermelon with beng helping her with it. Shawn concocting some drinks for me using ribena and all sorts of wine.First one I didn’t quite like it and so he made another one with a more conc ribena plus more varieties of wine. This drink was better.Wee beng like it too.I was afraid of being discovered by my parents and so I decided to stop after not more than 10 sips.Wee beng finished the rest of it and soon he was complaining of feeling abit of giddiness.I feel so useless doin nothing.but I managed to help cut another watermelon into small pieces despite the ugly shapes.I was having internal struggle all the while I was in his hse..i was wondering whether to go with them to jy’s hse. But in the end…I did not go…so I didn’t compromise after all. I wanted to sms jy that night but I actually forgot abt it so mayb its just fate.
27th May
Interact Club Installation Day. Finally we the j2s can step down.It was talks and more talks by panel 1 2 and 3….,experiencing technical problem all the time. MC was too soft.Best part was only abt the refreshments..i had two plates of mee goreng …tsk tsk. Everything ended at 12pm and have exceeded the approx time.J1s gave us a small bottle with a little note inside with “All the best for your A lvls”.Expected. So…me and sammy rush down to bugis for gp tution.we were late by abt 15 minutes and mr tong had went to get his lunch I tink.Hmm…something that amused me…I could sense that he was looking at me one sec ago while we were putting down our points and the next sec…he said,”I will always laugh whenever I see yiyuan”(sth like that) and I asked him why….and he says that I am always givin him this expression which I dunno how to describe.
Jes,yu zhu and I went to bugis food court.Only me and jes ate and yu zhu was again looking at us eat.Chewy went to buy something else and so we went our separate ways.We den went to cold storage to buy my choco and “shopping” and sayin what was nice to eat.It was 5pm by den and me and queen walked towards the bus stop.but we stopped for abt ½ hr to look at the live show on 勇不言败.When it was abt to finish…we left and again stopped halfway bcuz kim ng was out and queen wanted to take a look at her.We took the bus home and I slept.
[*] starred at 2:43 AM
5/19/2006
I've finally decided to reply after all.Honestly speaking,i really no longer bother whether u and I are friends now are just two childish friends having cold war with one another now.All i noe now is to carry on with my life with whatever tt is left,my sch teachers,classmates or even close frens.At first i was concerned,i wanted to console you after what happened to you after block test,i wanted to forget everything and juzt stay by you.But i realize i can't do it after all.I have a strong pride as well.I have never in my entire life apologize to my friends whom i've have let down and i dun tink i ever will.I shall repeat for the last time,no matter whether i noe whether it was my fault or not,i just will not relent and say sorry.But this definitely does not mean tt i do not treasure our friendship.You've seen how i treated jie yan,cried bcuz of him,know how much i treasure my friendship with him.I do not know him better than i noe u but i still treasure my friendship with him.But even till now,do u see me talking to him?I am concern abt him and still prayed for his bro...but i nv even once went up to console him or send an sms to show tt i care.I really feel sorry for myself for being brought up this way and i have only myself to blame if the whole world dislikes me and tt i have no friends.What happened to you and me is just one of the many occurence i've experienced.My ex-frens do take a step further and apologize to me even when i'm at fault but i've nv once came to accept this fact as much as i want to.I do treasure our friendship and,miss the times tgt.It jus times when i feel irritated when u kept mentioning those SAKAE times and take that to "threatened" me and saying that i'm not a gd fren or shld return u the favor for you accompanying me.But shouldn't frens do that,vice versa,w/o asking for anything i turn.But i do noe the childish side of me as well..playing along with you and saying tt i've returned you the favor by lending u my notes PS:I really dun like ppl to mess up my notes.Ok...forget abt all these.I still need to thank you for the times tt you've been for me.I noe part of the reasons why i do not want to apologise,firstly is bcuz i have strong sense of pride and secondly is bcuz i noe i will nv become close frens with you again and in fact feel awkward even if we were to become friends again.I cannot treat as if nothing happened when it indeed has,like u and chewy.Similarly,just like what happened to me and Justin,if u noe what happened.I am still afraid of justin although we have become friends again .But we become friends again not bcuz i apologised but because we are classmates and it's difficult not to be on talking terms when we are doin project tgt.I feel awkward not talking to you in grandstand,tried not to take the same bus back as you,tried to even bring myself to hate you...but what for...this will only bring misery to myself.I have not been visiting your blog as i noe what you've wrote is no longer any concern to me until queen and chewy told me abt what you've written abt us.ANW,all i want is to remain as what we are now...i do not ask for ya forgiveness or whatsoever...i really dun care what consequences i will face now...
[*] starred at 5:43 PM
Meaningless post
I have been having dreams lately...probably i didn't get to sleep well.But out of all...i only rmb one and that was Ande sms-ed me and telling me tt he was back from Aust but sending a card to my sis when he didn't noe her...i knew i was feeling jealous but realize it was juz a dream after all..Since then...i have been tinking about what i shld say to him when i see him on the streets one day?Would i be gg forward and saying hi to him...treat as it i didn't see him and deceive myself or stalking him home?Would i have done any of this?Why can't i let go of him?He was juz a IT teacher engaged by peicai sec and i know him barely enuf for him to rmb me as a little girl tried ways and means to get close to him and didn't mind climbling up and down 5 storeys juz to get him his lunch.tinking back..maybe it was foolish of me but i would have done the same things if time were reversed back.I know he was back fom Aust since i was sec 3 but i didn't do anything...having regrets now.
[*] starred at 5:16 PM
Finally finally was my last physics spa of my life in nyjc.hope i dun get a chance to retake it again.Chem last spa coming next Fri.haha...i was laughing at benjamin who was taking his first chem spa today.I found out sth juz rite b4 phys spa and wasn't in the best of mood already. And still that bird scolded me for five times...for looking at my notes(yi yuan,keep ur notes)..for taking one paper lesser(turtle)...for writing my name on that crumpled paper(do whatever u can to get that off)...for talking(dun tink i nv see tt) and for not paying attention to the handling up of scripts procedure(day dreaming ar).Fuck the hell out of him lah...i'm so pissed off now.Hmm...dun want to talk to him liao lah...moron stupid ass.Sorry...being vulgar here juz to vent my anger.I was really rushing things during the last 15 minutes of spa...my hand was trembling as i write..i was nervous and i have to go to the extent of using my left hand to support my right hand in order to write.I couldn't control my hand anymore...my handwriting was almost illegible.But glad that i manage to rush out everything on time..maybe missing a few points here and there.
[*] starred at 4:49 PM
5/18/2006
Everything seems to be in slow motion today and that the world seems to be taking a rest for a very very short moment. But nevertheless...time still past very quickly.Again...we played tennis during pe today and first time queen join us in our game...haha.Went to listen to the NUS business talk instead of the science which i wanted to go to.We had a free wristband while science fac had none.We also have give away vouchers for correctly answered qns.but i didn't noe how to ans bcuz i shut off after 15 mins.BC was there being mesmerize by the guy called david tay who was also an ex- nyjcian from the yr 99-00....one of the guest speaker...now in BBA. Saw mr foo playing tennis with another teacher called mr heng i tink...he was wearing his hse tee as usu.My classmates have been suaning him because his skills is still as lousy as when he started practicing 5 months ago.True that he didn't improve but it was because he were playing with frens that are as lousy as him...shld have asked the pe teachers to play with him wat.Now...i'm starting to like tennis also...hoping to..
[*] starred at 10:28 PM
5/17/2006
Released earlier from lessons today because we all j2s are supposed to go to tao payoh sports hall to give support to our volleyball girls who got into the final round;and they are up against HCI ...but why today?when chem was at 12.15pm.
The first match started at 2.05pm and HCI easily won the first round...they are strong opponents.But we were up against them till the 5th match which was also the deciding match..15-9...we lost.Although we lost...I'm glad that they have fought till the very last.I've forgotten whether he came during the first or second match tgt with mr ong and mrs lim but i'm also glad that he sat down with mr victor tan cuz he's within my sight..tsk tsk.I'm really impressed by brenda whom i suppose is the star player of the team....aspiring to be like her one day.. star attraction of the day...dream on..
Today's elton big day.happy birthday!
[*] starred at 4:04 PM
5/16/2006
Finally seen our class photos today...turn out to be quite well overall.i've seen the rest of the class photos as well and many of my frens have guessed why i wanted to buy S3C class photos and so i asked zhi liang for help.but since he may not be able to get his fren on time...den forget it.I've asked ryan for help though...he has agreeed to email me the pics once he gt hold of them.thanx thanx.
[*] starred at 6:55 PM
5/15/2006
I had tips from my frens here and there but i still blanked out during maths test...
[*] starred at 3:51 PM
5/14/2006
Had a quarrel with my dad today juz because of a trival matter....shouldn't we look parents upon our real live examples juz like how they tell us, that younger sis muz always follow what the elder sis does?Was i wrong again.I hated myself for being so weak...again i cried after i quarreled with my dad.Since young,i have been telling myself not to cry over such things because i know parents always dun admit their own mistakes...but i juz can't help...I'm juz being over-emotional and although i noe they meant well when they scold me...i juz like to argue with them.i'm no better than them!Afterthis..i couldn't concentrate on studying maths anymore.
[*] starred at 10:38 PM
5/12/2006
Vesak day today means another day of holiday for me but it also implies that there are more hw to be done.Still haven read up on phys spa cal, have to complete thermodynamics for chem...thermal properties for phys...So3 crv for maths...summary for gp tution...study for maths lecture test comin mon.
[*] starred at 2:13 AM
5/11/2006
173 more days to A levels.Mr quek was talking to us again durin CT period .Lesser honour roll recepients for this block test..well...as usu...zhi liang gt it again.Most interesting talk given by the principal today cuz he told us story on The lion,The donkey and The fox and even showed us a short movie clip.12 steps...go cookie.It was an interesting one.
Had our chem mock spa test today.Mental block for two parts but luckily i manage to recall at the very last.got back my phys lecture test paper today,23.5/40...i consider that an achievement for myself cuz passing phys is never a hope....wat more scoring an A.I'm still not very sure where i stand now...juz somewhere btw border line maybe.
[*] starred at 11:03 PM
5/08/2006
oOkie...so mr tay finally passed me the fluids notes.Haha..he collected 60 cents fom me which was supposed to be 63 cents...i "bargain" with him jus because of 3 cents?Queen was saying he is rich enuf to treat the guys to kbox but still need to collect 60 cents from me...ya lor...he so biase.
[*] starred at 3:57 AM
5/07/2006
Went for GP tution..go eat lunch at kfc with chewy and jes.I ordered the most and there were cheesey stains on my clothes.Walking ard in bugis village with my stained clothes..ar muz have looked so terrible.Chewy and I walked for abt 1 hour plus...combed the whole place before deciding on rui yun's b'dae prez.time was dragged to abt 5pm and i nearly couldn't get to meet yi jie to return her comic books on time.luckily she decided to wait for me b4 gg to her grandma's hse.So i rushed to boon keng and sat down inside kfc again ...lookin at ppl walking past me...thru the glass window.She came and we chatted for like 15 mins b4 she gt to go.okie...so she told me abt some bad news abt mr lee.H.L and so this is when i began to hate him.
Took a ride in daddy's new car today..
[*] starred at 11:36 PM
5/05/2006
Mr Loke was absent for the second time today but this time was because he was sick and not because he needed to attend course.So he can be sick too...forever 18 indeed.
Class photo shoot today.Missing Chun Yong in the photos.At last this time the sch had hired professionals photographers instead of using our very own sch photographers.Took some pics ourselves during free time using pris's cam.
today is wei hao's birthday.happy 19th b'dae.Rui Yun's b'dae is also coming soon...happy b'day to her in advance as well.
Sian...tml got gp tuition already.haven do my sq.
Look at some of the pictures thati've got
[*] starred at 2:59 PM
5/04/2006
Physics lecture test on fluids and EMI.Needless to say...i have strewed up the entire paper again.Struck right at Qn 1.mr tay will say that i never study again de.I really studied but also no choice if i dunno how to do...like he said before..statistics have shown that gals are always weaker in phys.I've been blindly following chem and phys spa practices.phys only calculation dunno how to do but my chem?skill A most impt and i have completely,yes completely no idea how to do.shucks la.
[*] starred at 7:33 PM
5/03/2006
I sat in the first row in chem lab 1 while foonium was teaching..haha.
[*] starred at 2:50 PM
5/02/2006
Chemistry test was ok...maybe can jus scrape thru..i hope so.Mr Soh is not coming back to teach us anymore..certainly.mr foo came to take over today and he let us do our thermodynamics tutorial, since he predicted most of us have not finished doin.
JY's bro unfortunately passed away today.Everyone was concern and prayed hard but..."qi ji zhong jiu mei you fa shen",the unfortunate still happens.my condolence.
[*] starred at 9:16 PM
