* shooting starr... *

4/05/2006

What are friends?
To me, friends are just ppl who are closer than family but yet ppl whom you cannot completely trust.We tell our problems to our close friends,friends or even strangers whom we dun know but never our own family members.Why?because i feel that friends will never betray you.But often than not,they are always the one talking behind your back and telling others about your own problems.Although friends often ask me for advices..if it is about results in school or dropping a subject...they will just give advice on the surface..like me for example,i will just push the problem back to the person itself cuz i tink i am not in the position to give advices to ppl when i cannot even handle my own problems.And of course,no matter how close friends are,human beings will always remain selfish,yes and this is a typical characteristics of humans that god created in us.I will often end up giving advice that is of advantage to myself and not my friendS.I tell my problems to my friends only hoping to let someone sort of share the burden with you and at the same time dun let myself bottom up everything b4 i go crazy one day.Thinking about it,its sometimes better to store certain things in the "microchip" in our head rather than put our problems here,in this blog,for fear that others will critize about it
.It could be the language or the content which may sound real stupid to others but not yourself.When i see my friends cry, i can be there for them,listen to their problems and be a very good listener but i can never be one who can console ppl.But at least i can keep the problems to myself,just like a psycharist who keeps information confidential.Things will only go worse if i say further.I tink we can never find "true" friends who understands ourself well enough to be able to accomodate all my faults and the mood swings,share bad and good days with you.Like how the adults shun one another when one is in need of money or went bankrupt.we cannot ignore the fact that this is the harsh reality of the world,no matter it is the past,present or the future.I always think that i am always the one accomodating my friends,wherever they want to go and what they wanna do..i just simply follow.but thats not always the case i assume,my friends will think likewise as well.but sometimes i can be very demanding and stubborn,must have what i want and do things my way...but my friends will always ignore me and think that i am childish.I know it.Mr Tay twice said that i was a spoiltbrat...and i tink he's right as well.Friends will tink that i'm being spoilt rotten by my parents and that is why.But i can tell you that its not the case at all,i can never have my way at home and that is why i tend to behave differently in school compared to the obedient me who never scold vulgar at home.Even Ande knows that.Just had a quarrel with two friends recently and ya...i know myself and i will never be the one apologizing..dats just me..can't help!As much as i wanted to avoid arguments,w/o the argand diagram..haha..i just somehow seem to forever be in conflicts with my bestees.Things that friends will nv do with you...accompany you on long journeys,share exams tips..etc.In conclusion..friends are just like gas bubbles which appears and disappears in rivers big or small...like how they disappear in our life when we need them most.

[*] starred at 2:30 PM